It was raining. I slowly strolled through the dark, dingy streets on my own. My clothes clung to my skin as the water soaked completely through leaving my limbs numb. Every so often a drop of rain would trickle down the back on my neck making my whole body tremble. The streets were completely deserted. It felt like I had been walking for ages, the cold had completely taken over my body to the point where I could not remember at time when I was warm. I had been walking around for hours, gathering my thoughts. I liked being alone. I liked the rain. The rhythmic sound of the rain bouncing off the pavement relaxed my body and allowed me to connect with myself. I spotted at a park across the road. I walked over, sat on the bench and tensed my …show more content…
On rare moments when I was alone like this though, there was no escaping my enemy.
My brain continued to dart from thought to thought, reliving every life event. I sat for what seemed like hours having the argument I wished I had with my mum last week over what shoes I got for school - in real life she had won, but in the argument which just occurred in my head, I was so brilliant she was left speechless. After my head was finishing reliving the past, it turned to the present and the little unanswerable questions came. First, there was the usual: the questions about my awkward personality - why are you so quiet? I mean, it 's not like people will laugh if you speak, they will probably appreciate it. Then, came the flood of what ifs: what if you had stuck to gymnastics? How different do you think your life would be? My brain continued on this pathway of meaningless questions which obviously had no real answer and just when I thought it was done and we were about to move onto the thoughts of the future, it stumbled on to a question which stuck in my head. A question that I couldn 't shake. Are you happy? And, from that question came a hundred others: what is happiness? How do you achieve true happiness? Is happiness real?
I racked my brain for a while before coming to the conclusion that I was not happy. Now, that is not to say that I am unhappy either. I decided that happiness could be achieved when you feel fulfilled and content with every aspect your life
My life became miserable and I developed a deep depression which made me fear being too happy. I knew
I’m not happy. It’s shouted from toddlers’ mouths, complained from high schoolers jaws, and mumbled through the lips of a nine-to-fivers. There isn’t a magic pill to make these people happy, but that doesn’t mean it's not possible. Creating a life of happiness can be done through a mix of science, engagement, and a drive to achieve the goal of lifetime happiness.
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I sat in our freezing basement. Goosebumps layered my body and I began to shake. A light lit up the dark room and I listened to the footsteps walking down the steep stairs.
“Brrr.” I shivered when I stepped into the shallow water. After 30 seconds, though, I adjusted.
Thankfully, Johnny had passed the test of being able to clean up with the help of Dixie and was able to transfer himself fairly well from the wheelchair to the toilet. With a long list of instructions, a bagful of medications and a schedule of appointments for therapy and check-ups, Johnny was pronounced healthy enough to start recovering at the DeSoto’s. Although normally he could have been sent home that morning, after having to be checked over by Doctor Early, Doctor Druthers and both therapists, Roy and Joanne agreed to wait until after lunch so Johnny could take a nap. It also gave Mike Stoker time to recover a bit from his shift so he could come and help with the trip home.
I sat in the alley trying to catch my breath. The sounds of sirens filled the air as I saw the red and blue lights flicker pass me. I took off my mask and felt my horns fade to nothing. I went down the street to my father 's bar The Swig of Death. I went into my father 's bar it was empty and saw him washing cups.
This was perfect I was at my old high school talking to my crush Lisa Benfield, she was laughing at the funny joke I told her and Jase was their trying hard to get Lisa 's attion but I had it all. I was wearing my varsity jacket with the number one on it and my name as I was walking Lisa to class I saw out the corner of my Jase crying like a little baby and then it happened I was going to ask Lisa to the prom.
Hurrying over to the creek with a can of corn, my father’s friend, Steve, my dad, and myself all had a tiny pole in our hands. Every time one of us dunked our corn-on-a-hook, a creek chub would snap snap snap at it, and we’d have another piece of bait for the real fishing journey. After we snagged enough creek chubs, we headed to the Illinois river.
As you kneel down on the hard wood floor in cabin 12, the smell of 4-day-old, moldy tube socks that have been soaked in lake water sneak into your nose. They were balled up under one of the beds, and left to ferment in the muggy summer heat. As a cabin keeper at Merritt Reservoir, you will have many bizarre encounters in the short three-month summer break that you spend there. You need a variety of supplies to clean different types of cabins, and they can be classified as the busy work cabins, party cabins, mystery cabins, and the outhouses. The supplies range from typical cleaning utensils such as rags and window cleaner, extra toilet paper and towels, Febreze, and rubber gloves for sticky situations. However, also be sure to grab mousetraps, a bible, and a long wooden rod with a hook on the end. This sounds unusual, but it will make sense soon.
I was waddling around in my playpen like any happy four-year-old would. Picking up and grabbing random toys and hurling them as hard my my chubby arm could. I looked at my brother with the biggest grin I could muster, as we heard my mother’s off-pitch voice, singing our favorite Disney songs to us, currently one from Sleeping Beauty, much to my brother’s dismay. It was the best day I can remember. My mother finished up with the song, and I thought it was the best thing I had ever heard. I didn’t know at the time that my mother is actually tone-deaf.
Careful not to make a noise, though it wouldn’t matter if I did, I crept over to my victim sprawled across the floor. One, two, three. I pounded a nail into my target’s head. The satisfying crack of the skull filled the room. Around me, a pool of blood began to form. Trapping, encasing, stopping me from moving. The thick liquid moved with a purpose, though I doubt it knew what that was. Slowly, then all at once, the color drained from his face, like watching the credits of a movie fade into the screen. Gone. Until next time, but, unlike a movie, he didn’t have a next time. Sirens wailed in the distance. They’d be here soon, but it didn’t matter. They were always a couple seconds behind me and that’s all the time I needed to escape.
I rolled out of bed and landed on the ruff discoloured carpet; I hadn 't vacuumed in months. I got up. I stretched out my ridged body. I fumbled to the door, not being bothered to switch on the lights. My tongue was dry and I needed something to quench my thirst- soda. Once I entered the hallway, I was assailed by a blinding light coming from Savannah 's, my sister 's bedroom. Curious - I made my way towards her room as my eyes adjusted to the new-found brightness.
I used to be normal. I used to have friends and people who cared about me. I used to think I was safe in my mother’s arms. That I could grow up to be the person everyone would admire. But those days are gone. Not a single soul in the world could give a damn about me. Every day I am tormented and abused, and I take it all in because I deserve it. Every day I think of running away, leaving my wretched soul behind. Every day I want to kill myself, but I can never bring myself to. Every day I am an outcast to society, an abomination. Every day that goes by, I am still gay. And I can’t change who I am.
It was a crisp morning in the first week of June, 2014. With her step-mom and father, Oriana and I got into the car at four o’clock in the morning and set out for the Eppley Airfield in Nebraska. The lengthy drive was masked by exotic dreams of Europe as Oriana and I slept soundly in the backseat of their champagne Cadillac. Before we knew it, the sun was creeping up from behind the scenery, eloquently painting the sky with vibrant tones of red, orange, and purple.