Upton Sinclair, ed. (1878–1968). The Cry for Justice: An Anthology of the Literature of Social Protest. 1915.
“Mr. Dooley” on the Trusts
By Finley Peter Dunne
(American humorist and social philosopher, born 1867)
“MIND ye, Jawn, I’ve no wurrud to say again thim that sets back in their own house an’ lot an’ makes th’ food iv th’ people dear. They’re good men, good men. Whin they tilt the price iv beef to where wan pound iv it costs as much as many th’ man in this Ar-rchey Road ’d wurruk from th’ risin’ to th’ settin’ iv th’ sun to get, they have no thought iv th’ likes iv you an’ me. ’Tis aisy come, aisy go with thim; an’ ivry cint a pound manes a new art musoom or a new church, to take th’ edge off hunger. They’re all right, thim la-ads with their own porkchops delivered free at th’ door. ’Tis, ‘Will ye have a new spring dress, me dear? Willum, ring thim up, an’ tell thim to hist the price iv beef. If we had a few more pitchers an’ statoos in th’ musoom ’twud ilivate th’ people a sthory or two. Willum, afther this steak ’ll be twinty cints a pound.’ Oh, they’re all right, on’y I was thinkin’ iv th’ Connock man’s fam’ly back iv th’ dumps.”
“Mebbe so,” said Mr. Dooley. “Mebbe so. What th’ ’ell, annyhow. Mebbe ’tis as bad to take champagne out iv wan man’s mouth as round steak out iv another’s. Lent is near over. I seen Doherty out shinin’ up his pipe that’s been behind th’ clock since Ash Winsdah. Th’ girls ’ll be layin’ lilies on th’ altar in a day or two. The springs come on. Th’ grass is growin’ good; an’, if th’ Connock man’s children back iv th’ dumps can’t get meat, they can eat hay.”
