Act V. Scene II. Jonson, Ben. 1909-14. The Alchemist. The Harvard Classics

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Ben Jonson (1572–1637). The Alchemist.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.

Act V

Scene II


LOVEWIT, Neighbours 1 LOVE. [Knocks again.] I will.

[Enter FACE in his butler’s livery] FACE. What mean you, sir?
1, 2, 4 NEI. O, here’s Jeremy!
FACE. Good sir, come from the door.	4
LOVE. Why, what’s the matter?
FACE. Yet farther, you are too near yet.
LOVE. In the name of wonder,
What means the fellow!	8
FACE. The house, sir, has been visited.
LOVE. What, with the plague? Stand thou then farther.
FACE. No, sir,
I had it not.	12
LOVE. Who had it then? I left
None else but thee i’ the house.
FACE. Yes, sir, my fellow,
The cat that kept the buttery, had it on her	16
A week before I spied it; but I got her
Convey’d away i’ the night: and so I shut
The house up for a month——
LOVE. How!	20
FACE. Purposing then, sir,
To have burnt rose-vinegar, treacle, and tar,
And have made it sweet, that you should ne’er ha’ known it;
Because I knew the news would but afflict you, sir.	24
LOVE. Breathe less, and farther off! Why this is stranger:
The neighbours tell me all here that the doors
Have still been open——
FACE. How, sir!	28
LOVE. Gallants, men and women,
And of all sorts, tag-rag, been seen to flock here
In threaves, 2 these ten weeks, as to a second Hogsden,
In days of Pimlico and Eye-bright. 3	32
FACE. Sir,
Their wisdoms will not say so.
LOVE. To-day they speak
Of coaches and gallants; one in a French hood	36
Went in, they tell me; and another was seen
In a velvet gown at the window: divers more
Pass in and out.
FACE. They did pass through the doors then,	40
Or walls, I assure their eye-sights, and their spectacles;
For here, sir, are the keys, and here have been,
In this my pocket, now above twenty days!
And for before, I kept the fort alone there.	44
But that ’tis yet not deep i’ the afternoon,
I should believe my neighbours had seen double
Through the black pot, 4 and made these apparitions!
For, on my faith to your worship, for these three weeks	48
And upwards, the door has not been open’d.
LOVE. Strange!
1 NEI. Good faith, I think I saw a coach.
2 NEI. And I too,	52
I’d ha’ been sworn.
LOVE. Do you but think it now?
And but one coach?
4 NEI. We cannot tell, sir: Jeremy	56
Is a very honest fellow.
FACE. Did you see me at all?
1 NEI. No; that we are sure on.
2 NEI. I’ll be sworn o’ that.	60
LOVE. Fine rogues to have your testimonies built on!

[Re-enter third Neighbour, with his tools] 3 NEI. Is Jeremy come!
1 NEI. O yes; you may leave your tools;
We were deceiv’d, he says.	64
2 NEI. He has had the keys;
And the door has been shut these three weeks.
3 NEI. Like enough.
LOVE. Peace, and get hence, you changelings.	68

[Enter SURLY and MAMMON] FACE. [Aside.] Surly come!
And Mammon made acquainted! They’ll tell all.
How shall I beat them off? What shall I do?
Nothing’s more wretched than a guilty conscience.	72

Note 1. The same. [back]

Note 2. Literally, two dozen sheaves; droves. [back]

Note 3. A suburban tavern, eclipsed as a resort by Pimlico. [back]

Note 4. With drinking. [back]

CONTENTS · BOOK CONTENTS · BIBLIOGRAPHIC RECORD · DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

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