| |
DAP. [Within.] Captain, I am here. | |
| FACE. Who’s that?—He’s come, I think, doctor. | |
| |
[Enter DAPPER.] | |
| Good faith, sir, I was going away. | 4 |
| DAP. In truth | |
| I am very sorry, captain. | |
| FACE. But I thought | |
| Sure I should meet you. | 8 |
| DAP. Ay, I am very glad. | |
| I had a scurvy writ or two to make, | |
| And I had lent my watch last night to one | |
| That dines today at the sheriff’s, and so was robb’d | 12 |
| Of my pass-time. 2 | |
| |
[Re-enter SUBTLE in his velvet cap and gown]
Is this the cunning-man? | |
| FACE. This is his worship. | |
| DAP. Is he a doctor? | 16 |
| FACE. Yes. | |
| DAP. And ha’ you broke 3 with him, captain? | |
| FACE. Ay. | |
| DAP. And how? | 20 |
| FACE. Faith, he does make the matter, sir, so dainty, 4 | |
| I know not what to say. | |
| DAP. Not so, good captain. | |
| FACE. Would I were fairly rid on’t, believe me. | 24 |
| DAP. Nay, now you grieve me, sir. Why should you wish so? | |
| I dare assure you, I’ll not be ungrateful. | |
| FACE. I cannot think you will, sir. But the law | |
| Is such a thing——and then he says, Read’s 5 matter | 28 |
| Falling so lately. | |
| DAP. Read! he was an ass, | |
| And dealt, sir, with a fool. | |
| FACE. It was a clerk, sir. | 32 |
| DAP. A clerk! | |
| FACE. Nay, hear me, sir. You know the law | |
| Better, I think—— | |
| DAP. I should, sir, and the danger: | 36 |
| You know, I show’d the statute to you. | |
| FACE. You did so. | |
| DAP. And will I tell then! By this hand of flesh, | |
| Would it might never write good courthand more, | 40 |
| If discover. 6 What do you think of me, | |
| That I am a chiaus? 7 | |
| FACE. What’s that? | |
| DAP. The Turk was, here— | 44 |
| As one would say, do you think I am a Turk? | |
| FACE. I’ll tell the doctor so. | |
| DAP. Do, good sweet captain. | |
| FACE. Come, noble doctor, pray thee let’s prevail; | 48 |
| This is the gentleman, and he is no chiaus. | |
| SUB. Captain, I have return’d you all my answer. | |
| I would do much, sir, for your love—— But this | |
| I neither may, nor can. | 52 |
| FACE. Tut, do not say so. | |
| You deal now with a noble fellow, doctor, | |
| One that will thank you richly; and he is no chiaus: | |
| Let that, sir, move you. | 56 |
| SUB. Pray you, forbear—— | |
| FACE. He has | |
| Four angels here. | |
| SUB. You do me wrong, good sir. | 60 |
| FACE. Doctor, wherein? To tempt you with these spirits? | |
| SUB. To tempt my art and love, sir, to my peril. | |
| ’Fore heav’n, I scarce can think you are my friend, | |
| That so would draw me to apparent danger. | 64 |
| FACE. I draw you! A horse draw you, and a halter, | |
| You, and your flies 8 together—— | |
| DAP. Nay, good captain. | |
| FACE. That know no difference of men. | 68 |
| SUB. Good words, sir. | |
| FACE. Good deeds, sir, doctor dogs’-meat. ’Slight, I bring you | |
| No cheating Clim o’ the Cloughs 9 or Claribels, 10 | |
| That look as big as five-and-fifty, and flush; 11 | 72 |
| And spit out secrets like hot custard—— | |
| DAP. Captain! | |
| FACE. Nor any melancholic underscribe, | |
| Shall tell the vicar; but a special gentle, | 76 |
| That is the heir to forty marks a year, | |
| Consorts with the small poets of the time, | |
| Is the sole hope of his old grandmother; | |
| That knows the law, and writes you six fair hands, | 80 |
| Is a fine clerk, and has his ciph’ring perfect. | |
| Will take his oath o’ the Greek Xenophon, 12 | |
| If need be, in his pocket; and can court | |
| His mistress out of Ovid. | 84 |
| DAP. Nay, dear captain—— | |
| FACE. Did you not tell me so? | |
| DAP. Yes; but I’d ha’ you | |
| Use master doctor with some more respect. | 88 |
| FACE. Hang him, proud stag, with his broad velvet head!— | |
| But for your sake, I’d choke ere I would change | |
| An article of breath with such a puck-fist 13 | |
| Come, let’s be gone. [Going.] | 92 |
| SUB. Pray you le’ me speak with you. | |
| DAP. His worship calls you, captain. | |
| FACE. I am sorry | |
| I e’er embark’d myself in such a business. | 96 |
| DAP. Nay, good sir; he did call you. | |
| FACE. Will he take then? | |
| SUB. First, hear me—— | |
| FACE. Not a syllable, ’less you take. | 100 |
| SUB. Pray ye, sir—— | |
| FACE. Upon no terms but an assumpsit. 14 | |
| SUB. Your humour must be law. He takes the money. | |
| FACE. Why now, sir, talk. | 104 |
| Now I dare hear you with mine honour. Speak. | |
| So may this gentleman too. | |
| SUB. Why, sir—— [Offering to whisper FACE.] | |
| FACE. No whispering. | 108 |
| SUB. ’Fore heav’n, you do not apprehend the loss | |
| You do yourself in this. | |
| FACE. Wherein? for what? | |
| SUB. Marry, to be so importunate for one | 112 |
| That, when he has it, will undo you all: | |
| He’ll win up all the money i’ the town. | |
| FACE. How? | |
| SUB. Yes, and blow up gamester after gamester, | 116 |
| As they do crackers in a puppet-play. | |
| If I do give him a familiar, | |
| Give you him all you play for; never set 15 him: | |
| For he will have it. | 120 |
| FACE. You’re mistaken, doctor. | |
| Why, he does ask one but for cups and horses, | |
| A rifling 16 fly; none o’ your great familiars. | |
| DAP. Yes, captain, I would have it for all games. | 124 |
| SUB. I told you so. | |
| FACE. [taking DAP. aside.] ’Slight, that is a new business! | |
| I understood you, a tame bird, to fly | |
| Twice in a term, or so, on Friday nights, | 128 |
| When you had left the office; for a nag | |
| Of forty or fifty shillings. | |
| DAP. Ay, ’tis true, sir; | |
| But I do think, now, I shall leave the law, | 132 |
| And therefore—— | |
| FACE. Why, this changes quite the case. | |
| Do you think that I dare move him? | |
| DAP. If you please, sir; | 136 |
| All’s one to him, to see. | |
| FACE. What! for that money? | |
| I cannot with my conscience; nor should you | |
| Make the request, methinks. | 140 |
| DAP. No, sir, I mean | |
| To add consideration. | |
| FACE. Why then, sir, | |
| I’ll try. [Goes to SUBTLE.] Say that it were for all games, doctor? | 144 |
| SUB. I say then, not a mouth shall eat for him | |
| At any ordinary, 17 but on the score, 18 | |
| That is a gaming mouth, conceive me. | |
| FACE. Indeed! | 148 |
| SUB. He’ll draw you all the treasure of the realm, | |
| If it be set him. | |
| FACE. Speak you this from art? | |
| SUB. Ay, sir, and reason too, the ground of art. | 152 |
| He is of the only best complexion, | |
| The queen of Fairy loves. | |
| FACE. What! is he? | |
| SUB. Peace. | 156 |
| He’ll overhear you. Sir, should she but see him—— | |
| FACE. What? | |
| SUB. Do not you tell him. | |
| FACE. Will he win at cards too? | 160 |
| SUB. The spirits of dead Holland, living Isaac, 19 | |
| You’d swear, were in him; such a vigorous lack | |
| As cannot be resisted. ’Slight, he’ll put | |
| Six of your gallants to a cloak, 20 indeed. | 164 |
| FACE. A strange success, that some man shall be born to! | |
| SUB. He hears you, man—— | |
| DAP. Sir, I’ll not be ingrateful. | |
| FACE. Faith, I have confidence in his good nature: | 168 |
| You hear, he says he will not be ingrateful. | |
| SUB. Why, as you please; my venture follows yours. | |
| FACE. Troth, do it, doctor; think him trusty, and make him. | |
| He may make us both happy in an hour; | 172 |
| Win some five thousand pound, and send us two on’t. | |
| DAP. Believe it, and I will, sir. | |
| FACE. And you shall, sir. | |
| You have heard all? | 176 |
| DAP. No, what was’t? Nothing, I, sir. FACE takes him aside. | |
| FACE. Nothing! | |
| DAP. A little, sir. | |
| FACE. Well, a rare star | 180 |
| Reign’d at you birth. | |
| DAP. At mine, sir! No. | |
| FACE. The doctor | |
| Swears that you are—— | 184 |
| SUB. Nay, captain, you’ll tell all now. | |
| FACE. Allied to the queen of Fairy. | |
| DAP. Who! That I am? | |
| Believe it, no such matter—— | 188 |
| FACE. Yes, and that | |
| You were born with a caul on your head. | |
| DAP. Who says so? | |
| FACE. Come, | 192 |
| You know it well enough, though you dissemble it. | |
| DAP. I’ fac, 21 I do not; you are mistaken. | |
| FACE. How! | |
| Swear by your fac, 22 and in a thing so known | 196 |
| Unto the doctor? How shall we, sir, trust you | |
| I’ the other matter; can we ever think, | |
| When you have won five or six thousand pound, | |
| You’ll send us shares in’t by this rate? | 200 |
| DAP. By Jove, sir, | |
| I’ll win ten thousand pound, and send you half. | |
| I’ fac’s no oath. | |
| SUB. No, no, he did but jest. | 204 |
| FACE. Go to. Go thank the doctor: he’s your friend, | |
| To take it so. | |
| DAP. I thank his worship. | |
| FACE. So! | 208 |
| Another angel. | |
| DAP. Must I? | |
| FACE. Must you! ’slight, | |
| What else is thanks? Will you be trivial?—Doctor, [DAPPER gives him the money.] | 212 |
| When must he come for his familiar? | |
| DAP. Shall I not ha’ it with me? | |
| SUB. O, good sir! | |
| There must a world of ceremonies pass; | 216 |
| You must be bath’d and fumigated first: | |
| Besides, the queen of Fairy does not rise | |
| Till it be noon. | |
| FACE. Not if she danc’d to-night. | 220 |
| SUB. And she must bless it. | |
| FACE. Did you never see | |
| Her royal grace yet? | |
| DAP. Whom? | 224 |
| FACE. Your aunt of Fairy? | |
| SUB. Not since she kist him in the cradle, captain; | |
| I can resolve you that. | |
| FACE. Well, see her grace, | 228 |
| Whate’er it cost you, for a thing that I know. | |
| It will be somewhat hard to compass; but | |
| However, see her. You are made, believe it, | |
| If you can see her. Her grace is a lone woman, | 232 |
| And very rich; and if she take a fancy, | |
| She will do strange things. See her, at any hand. | |
| ’Slid, she may hap to leave you all she has: | |
| It is the doctor’s fear. | 236 |
| DAP. How will’t be done, then? | |
| FACE. Let me alone, take you no thought. Do you | |
| But say to me, “Captain, I’ll see her grace.” | |
| DAP. “Captain, I’ll see her grace.” | 240 |
| FACE. Enough. One knocks without. | |
| SUB. Who’s there? | |
| Anon.— [Aside to FACE.] Conduct him forth by the back way. | |
| —Sir, against one o’clock prepare yourself; | 244 |
| Till when you must be fasting; only take | |
| Three drops of vinegar in at your nose, | |
| Two at your mouth, and one at either ear; | |
| Then bathe your fingers’ ends and wash your eyes, | 248 |
| To sharpen your five senses, and cry hum | |
| Thrice, and then buz as often; and then come. [Exit.] | |
| FACE. Can you remember this? | |
| DAP. I warrant you. | 252 |
| FACE. Well then, away. It is but your bestowing | |
| Some twenty nobles ’mong her grace’s servants, | |
| And put on a clean shirt. You do not know | |
| What grace her grace may do you in clean linen. [Exeunt FACE and DAPPER.] | 256 |
