dots-menu
×

Home  »  The World’s Wit and Humor  »  A University Catechism

The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.

College Humor

A University Catechism

Compiled for Sub-Freshmen and Members of the Professional Schools

From “The Harvard Lampoon”

Q.WHAT is a university?

A.I do not know.

Q.You are quite right. Who does know?

A.Nobody in America, though some people think they do.

Q.What are the objects of a university?

A.To unfit people for practical life.

Q.To whom do you refer by “people”?

A.I refer to the teachers and students alike.

Q.And what are the effects of a university?

A.To unfit the same people for life here or hereafter. This, however, is of little importance, as a university teaches that there is no life hereafter.

Q.Then a university effects more than is intended?

A.Much.

Q.What is necessary to make a university?

A.Money.

Q.Anything else?

A.Yes; a mixture of assurances and self-con——

(The rest of the catechism has been, for some unexplained reason, suppressed by the faculty.)