The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Sam Walter Foss (1858–1911)The Meeting of the Clabberhuses
Of Early Pliocene Patriarchs;
He was chief Mentor of the Lodge
Of the Oracular Oligarchs;
He was the Lord High Autocrat
And Vizier of the Sons of Light,
And Sultan and Grand Mandarin
Of the Millennial Men of Might.
Of the Independent Potentates;
Grand Mogul of the Galaxy
Of the Illustrious Stay-out-lates;
The President of the Dandydudes;
The Treasurer of the Sons of Glee;
The Leader of the Clubtown Band
And Architects of Melody.
Of the Illustrious Maids of Mark;
Of Vestals of the Third Degree
She was Most Potent Matriarch;
She was High Priestess of the Shrine
Of Clubtown’s Culture Coterie,
And First Vice-President of the League
Of the Illustrious G. A. B.
For teaching Patagonians Greek;
She was Chief Clerk and Auditor
Of Clubtown’s Anti-Bachelor Clique;
She was High Treasurer of the Fund
For Borrioboolaghalians,
And the Fund for Sending Browning’s Poems
To Native-born Australians.
Both these much-titled people came,
And each perceived, when introduced,
They had the selfsame name.
Their hostess said, when first they met:
“Permit me now to introduce
My good friend Mr. Clabberhuse
To Mrs. Clabberhuse.”
“Such an unusual name—
A name so very seldom heard—
That we should bear the same!”
“Indeed, ’tis wonderful,” said he,
“And I’m surprised the more,
Because I never heard the name
Outside my home before.
Said he, “upon my life,
If I am not indeed deceived,
You are—you are—my wife.”
She gazed into his searching face
And seemed to look him through:
“Indeed,” said she, “it seems to me
You are my husband, too.
And in my various spheres,
I have not seen you now,” she said,
“For over fourteen years.”
“That’s just the way it’s been with me;
These clubs demand a sight”—
And then they both politely bowed,
And sweetly said “Good night.”