Bliss Carman, et al., eds. The World’s Best Poetry.
Volume IX. Tragedy: Humor. 1904. | | | | Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous | | Address to the Toothache | | Robert Burns (1759–1796) |
| | | MY curse upon thy venomed stang, | |
| That shoots my tortured gums alang; | |
| An’ through my lugs gies mony a twang, | |
| Wi’ gnawing vengeance! | |
| Tearing my nerves wi’ bitter pang, | 5 |
| Like racking engines. | |
| |
| When fevers burn, or ague freezes, | |
| Rheumatics gnaw, or cholic squeezes; | |
| Our neighbor’s sympathy may ease us, | |
| Wi’ pitying moan; | 10 |
| But thee,—thou hell o’ a’ diseases, | |
| Aye mocks our groan. | |
| |
| Adown my beard the slavers trickle; | |
| I throw the wee stools o’er the mickle, | |
| As round the fire the giglets keckle | 15 |
| To see me loup; | |
| While, raving mad, I wish a heckle | |
| Were in their doup. | |
| |
| O’ a’ the numerous human dools, | |
| Ill har’sts, daft bargains, cutty-stools, | 20 |
| Or worthy friends raked i’ the mools, | |
| Sad sight to see! | |
| The tricks o’ knaves or fash o’ fools, | |
| Thou bear’st the gree. | |
| |
| Where’er that place be priests ca’ hell, | 25 |
| Whence a’ the tones o’ mis’ry yell, | |
| And rankèd plagues their numbers tell, | |
| In dreadfu’ raw, | |
| Thou, Toothache, surely bear’st the bell, | |
| Among them a’; | 30 |
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| O thou grim mischief-making chiel, | |
| That gars the notes of discord squeal, | |
| Till daft mankind aft dance a reel | |
| In gore a shoe-thick!— | |
| Gie a’ the faes o’ Scotland’s weal | 35 |
| A fowmond’s Toothache! | | | | |
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