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Home  »  The English Poets  »  Extracts from Hudibras: The Presbyterians

Thomas Humphry Ward, ed. The English Poets. 1880–1918.rnVol. II. The Seventeenth Century: Ben Jonson to Dryden

Samuel Butler (1612–1680)

Extracts from Hudibras: The Presbyterians

[From Part I.]

THAT stubborn crew

Of errant saints whom all men grant

To be the true Church Militant.

Such as do build their faith upon

The holy text of pike and gun;

Decide all controversies by

Infallible artillery;

And prove their doctrine orthodox

With apostolic blows and knocks;

Call fire and sword and desolation

A godly, thorough Reformation,

Which always must be going on,

And still be doing, never done,

As if Religion were intended

For nothing else but to be mended:

A sect whose chief devotion lies

In odd, perverse antipathies,

In falling out with that or this

And finding somewhat still amiss;

More peevish, cross, and splenetic

Than dog distract or monkey sick:

That with more care keep holyday

The wrong, than others the right way;

Compound for sins they are inclined to

By damning those they have no mind to.

Still so perverse and opposite

As if they worshipped God for spite,

The self-same thing they will abhor

One way and long another for;

Freewill they one way disavow,

Another, nothing else allow;

All piety consists therein

In them, in other men all sin.

Rather than fail they will defy

That which they love most tenderly;

Quarrel with mince-pies, and disparage

Their best and dearest friend plum-porridge;

Fat pig and goose itself oppose,

And blaspheme custard through the nose.