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(From the Exeter Garland, 1720)
YOU Gallants all in London, pray draw near a while, | |
| Here’s a pleasant Ditty will make you all to smile, | |
| ’Tis of a Merchant’s Widow that did in London dwell, | |
| And she had Store of Riches, as many People tell. | |
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| She had a pretty Daughter, indeed she had no more, | 5 |
| And she was Heir, as we do find to all her worldly Store. | |
| A Sailor came to court this Maid, but he was very poor, | |
| Yet ne’ertheless this Maiden fair did him much adore. | |
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| This youthful Couple agreed to wed in a little Time, | |
| If that the good old Woman they could get in Mind: | 10 |
| But of her Gold and Silver she such a God did make, | |
| She kept her Daughter single all for her Fortune’s Sake. | |
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| The Maiden said, “Pray, Mother, let me wed my Dear, | |
| For we have loved each other above these seven Years.” | |
| The Mother then she said, “Have him with all my Heart, | 15 |
| But with one Farthing of your Portion yet I will not part.” | |
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| The Daughter said, “ ”Your Reason for this let me know, | |
| Six thousand Pounds my Father has left me, that is true, | |
| As long as I have Wealth enough, I’ll have the Man I love, | |
| And therefore I do hope you will of the Match approve.” | 20 |
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| Then straightway in Passion the old Woman swore, | |
| “You’re too young to marry yet, and therefore pray forbear, | |
| For you must let me marry first, for tho’ I’m old and gray, | |
| I have a Tooth within my Head that’s coltish I do say; | |
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| “This Money ’twill bring me a Husband brisk and young, | 25 |
| ’Tis Time enough for you to begin, I think, when I’ve done; | |
| My Child, you ne’er knew the Bliss, and so you cannot pine, | |
| As I for want of my Goodman have done a tedious Time. | |
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| “Dear Mother, you make me blush to hear you talk so wild, | |
| But since you do a Husband want, I swear as I’m your Child | 30 |
| I’ll stay till you’re married first, and when it is my Turn, | |
| I hope to have the Man I love, so let the Game go on, | |
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| “Pray fit me for the Country, for there I mean to go, | |
| And there the jolly Sailor will not be in my View.” | |
| The old Woman rejoiced at this, fit her out straightway | 35 |
| Thinking she to Worcestershire would go without Delay. | |
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| This young crafty Damsel has a Frolic in her Head, | |
| She sent then for her Lover, and unto him she said, | |
| “My Mother says my Portion must her a Husband buy, | |
| For she without a Bedfellow no longer cannot lie; | 40 |
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| “And therefore I’m resolved this Frolic for to play, | |
| I will cut my lovely Hair, and dress in Man’s Array, | |
| A Suitor to my Mother I’ll go in this Disguise, | |
| And bite the good old Woman of all the golden Prize.” | |
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| Her Lover he did heartily laugh to hear the same, | 45 |
| Saying, “If you do proceed, my Dear, ’twill be a pretty Game; | |
| But prithee do you not think but that she’ll know your Face. | |
| Ne’er fear,” said the Damsel, “for thus must stand the Case. | |
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| “I’ll stifle her with Kisses, and put her in Surprize, | |
| I’ll vow and swear I nothing see but Beauty in her Eyes; | 50 |
| And if at any time she gazes in my Face, | |
| I’ll on her Bosom lay my head, her Bubbies to embrace; | |
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| “I’ve a Friend that soon shall go, my Person to commend, | |
| And tell I’m in Love with her, and soon she’ll for me send: | |
| So fare you well, my dearest Dear, this Frolic I’ll pursue, | 55 |
| And every Day I’ll let you know how all Matters go.” | |
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| The old Woman thinking her Daughter out of Town | |
| She was resolv’d not very long for to lie alone; | |
| And she among her Friends a visiting did go, | |
| In hopes a Husband for to get as she walked to and fro. | 60 |
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| Her Daughter, drest like a Beau, one day she did meet, | |
| Who kindly embraced her, & swore the Kiss was sweet, | |
| “Dear Madam, I’m so deep in Love, before that we do part, | |
| I beg you’ll tell me where you live, or you’ll break my Heart.” | |
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| She said, “Go along with me, and if your Love be true, | 65 |
| You are a charming pretty Youth, and I can fancy you, | |
| I’ve Store of Gold and Silver to make you rich and great, | |
| A Chariot wherein you may ride, Footmen on you to wait.” | |
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| She not thinking who this young airy Spark might be | |
| She took her new Acquaintance home immediately; | 70 |
| This Spark fell strong to courting, & solemnly did swear | |
| “Ten thousand charming Beauties in her Eyes there were.” | |
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| Then gave her melting Kisses, & pulled her on’s Knee, | |
| And with her ancient Bubbies played a pleasant Comedy. | |
| The old Women did simper, & was pleased to the Heart, | 75 |
| Saying, My Dear, a Diamond Ring, I’ll give before we part. | |
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| Then up Stairs she took him to see her golden Store, | |
| Saying, “The Day I marry you, I’ll give you this and more; | |
| But can you love me heartily, tell me my pretty Dear, | |
| Because you see that I am old, and stricken well in Years. | 80 |
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| “And you are but a Stripling, just in your youthful Prime, | |
| I fear you will a Whoring run, and leave me for to pine. | |
| Dear Madam, I did never love a Whore in all my Life, | |
| I’ll be as constant as the Dove when you are made my Wife. | |
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| “My Dear,” said the old Woman, “on St. Andrew’s Day | 85 |
| We will be joined together in private I do say: | |
| I’ll make you Master of my Store before to Bed we go, | |
| That you better may reward my Love for doing so.” | |
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| With many amorous Kisses they parted that Night, | |
| She goes unto the Sailor her joy and Heart’s Delight; | 90 |
| She gave him the Diamond Ring and told her Success, | |
| And tho’ she had Breeches on, they lovingly embraced. | |
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| A courting to her Mother each Day she constant went | |
| At length St. Andrew’s Day came, to her great Content | |
| To Church then to be married this couple they did hie, | 95 |
| The Marriage being over, the Fun comes by and by. | |
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| As soon as e’er the Bridegroom came within the Door | |
| She took him in and made him the Master of her Store, | |
| Her Gold, Bonds, & Leases, she did to her Spouse resign, | |
| Saying, “Take Possession of my Store for thou’rt fairly mine.” | 100 |
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| This done, the Female Bridegroom began to be in Care | |
| Which Way the golden Prize to convey unto her Dear, | |
| Then turning to her Mother, said, “My Heart’s Delight, | |
| We’ll go abroad to dine to Day, and home to Bed at Night.” | |
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| The Bride she had a Sister lived in Hanover-Square, | 105 |
| She agreed to go thither, and Spouse to meet her there, | |
| Her Chariot was made ready, as soon as she was gone, | |
| The Maid for the Sailor sent, & told him what was done. | |
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| Ten thousand Pound to the jolly Sailor she did give, | |
| Saying, “To-morrow I’ll be with you, if that I do live, | 110 |
| But I must give my Bride my Company to Night | |
| I fear the Bargain she’ll repent before the Morning Light.” | |
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| The Sailor went off, the Bridegroom went to the Bride | |
| Soon as she entered the Room, the Aunt in surprise said, | |
| “I’m sure, if this your Husband be, I verily do swear | 115 |
| It is your only Daughter that does the Breeches wear. | |
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| “The Devil take her if it be,” (The Mother then did say) | |
| “Now steadfastly I look at her, I really think ’tis she; | |
| But to be further satisfied, I solemnly do swear, | |
| I will have the Breeches down to know what Sort of Ware.” | 120 |
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| Then rising in a Passion, did about the Breeches fall | |
| The Daughter laughed heartily, she had no strength at all, | |
| She said, “How can you be so rude such Things to discover? | |
| I’m sure I am as good a Man as ever was my Mother.” | |
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| She got the Breeches down, & found that it was true, | 125 |
| She said, “Since you’ve me deceived I’ll surely make you rue. | |
| It is not in your Power,” (the Daughter she did say) | |
| “You fairly did surrender your Treasure unto me; | |
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| “So I’m resolved to-morrow to wed the Sailor bright, | |
| I think it is high time I should, know the sweet Delight | 130 |
| That sets you thus a longing, and when that I have done, | |
| You may get a Husband, when it comes to your Turn.” | |
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| The old Woman tore the Teeth out of her Head, | |
| Next Day the youthful Lady she did the Sailor wed. | |
| The Mother still a hundred a Year does possess, | 135 |
| And when it comes in her Turn she’s to be caressed. | |
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