dots-menu
×

Home  »  Poetica Erotica  »  The Play-house Saint

T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.

The Play-house Saint

By Thomas D’Urfey (1653–1723)
 
(Or, Phillis Unmasked; from Songs Complete, 1719)

NEAR, famous Covent-Garden
  A Dome there stands on high;
      With a fa, la, la, la, etc.
Where Kings are represented,
  And Queens in Metre die;        5
      With a fa, la, la, la, etc.
The Beaus and Men of Business
  Diversions hither bring,
To hear the wanton Doxies prate,
  And see ’em dance and sing;        10
      With a fa, la, la, la, etc.
 
Here Phillis is a Darling,
  As she her self gives out,
      For a fa, la, la, la,
As tight a Lass as ever        15
  Did use a Double Clout,
      On her fa, la, la, la, etc.
She’s brisk and gay, and cunning,
  And wants a Wedlock Yoke,
Her Mother was before her        20
  As good as ever stroke
      For a fa, la, la, la, etc.
 
Young Suitors she had many,
  From ’Squire, up to the Lord,
      For her fa, la, la, la, etc.        25
And daily she refused ’em,
  For Virtue was the Word;
    With her fa, la, la, la, etc.
A Saint she would be thought,
  And dissembled all she could,        30
But jolly Rakes all knew she was
  Of Play-house Flesh and Blood,
      And her fa, la, la, la, etc.
 
Her Mother when encouraged
  With warm Geneva Dose,        35
      And a fa, la, la, la, etc.
Still cried, take care dear Philly,
  To keep thy Haunches close,
      And this fa, la, la, la, etc.
This made her stand out stoutly,        40
  Opposing all that come,
Though twenty Demi-Cannon
  Still were mounted at her Bum,
      And her fa, la, la, la, etc.
 
The Knight and Country Squire        45
  Were shot with her disdain,
      And her fa, la, la, la, etc.
The Lawyer was outwitted,
  The hardy Soldier slain,
      By her fa, la, la, la, etc.        50
The bluff Tarpolian Sailor
  In vain cried hard a Port,
She buffled Shirks at Sea,
  As the Country, Town, and Court;
      With a fa, la, la, la, etc.        55
 
The God of Love grown angry,
  That Phillis seemed so shy,
      Of her fa, la, la, la, etc.
Resolved her Pride to humble,
  And rout her pish and fie;        60
He sent a splayfoot Taylor,
  Who knew well how to stitch,
And in a little time had found
  A Button for her Britch,
      And her fa, la, la, la, etc.        65
 
Yet was it not so close,
  But ’tis known without all Doubt,
      With a fa, la, la, la, etc.
A little humane Figure
  Has secretly dropped out,        70
      From her fa, la, la, la, etc.
And tho’ some petty Scandal
  Pursue this Venial Fact,
Her Mother she swears Zoons and C——t
  Her Honour is intact,        75
      And her fa, la, la, la, etc.
 
Oh Phillis, then be wise,
  And give Ease to Lover’s racked,
      For your fa, la, la, la, etc.
Let Coyness be abated,        80
  You know the Pitcher’s cracked,
      By a fa, la, la, la, etc.
For shame, let lousie Tailors
  No more your Love trapan,
Since nine of ’em, you know ’tis said,        85
  Can hardly make a man;
      With a fa, la, la, la, etc.