T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22.
The Disappointment
By Thomas D’Urfey (1653–1723)(From Songs Complete, 1719) THE CLOCK had struck, faith I cannot tell what, | |
| But Morning was come as Grey as a Cat; | |
| Cocks and Hens from their Roosts did fly, | |
| Grunting Hogs too had left their sty; | |
| When in a Vale, | 5 |
| Carrying a Pail, | |
| Sissly her new Lover met, Dapper Harry; | |
| First they Kissed, | |
| Then shook Fist, | |
| Then talked as Fools do, that just were to Marry. | 10 |
| Zooks cried Hal, I can’t but think, | |
| Now we are come to Wedlock brink; | |
| How pure a stock ’twill be how fine, | |
| When you put your good mark to mine; | |
| Siss at that, | 15 |
| Growing hot, | |
| Bussed him as if she’d have burnt him to Tinder; | |
| Thus they Woo, | |
| But see how, | |
| Damned Fate contrived now the Bargain to hinder. | 20 |
| Sissly had got a Cold I suppose, | |
| And ’twixt her Fingers was blowing her Nose; | |
| Harry, that Linen too wanted I doubt, | |
| Lent her his Glove, to serve for a Clout; | |
| Scraping low, | 25 |
| Manners to show, | |
| And tell her how much he was her adorer: | |
| Pray mark the Joke, | |
| Leather thong broke, | |
| And Breeches fell down to his Ankles before her. | 30 |
| Sissly who saw him thus distrest, | |
| Pulls of her Garter of woolen List; | |
| And with a sly and leering look, | |
| Gave it to mend up what was broke; | |
| Fumbling he, | 35 |
| Could not see, | |
| What he discovered, tho’ e’er he had tied all: | |
| For just before, | |
| Shirt was tore, | |
| And as the Devil would have’t she had spied all. | 40 |
| She gave him then so cold a Look, | |
| Discontent it plainly spoke; | |
| And running from him near a Mile, | |
| He overtook her at a stile; | |
| Too much hast, | 45 |
| Milk down cast, | |
| And topsy turvy she fell on her Pole with’t: | |
| He seeing that, | |
| Runs with’s Hat, | |
| But could not Cover her C—— for his soul with’t: | 50 |
| Have you not seen at Noon of Day, | |
| The Sun his glorious Face display; | |
| So Sissly shone with Beauty’s Rays, | |
| Reflecting from her Postern grace; | |
| Till at last | 55 |
| Struggling past, | |
| Wide sprawling Legs were again set in order: | |
| But poor Hal, | |
| Since her fall, | |
| Stood just like one was found guilty of Murder. | 60 |
| The God of Love, or else old Nick, | |
| Sure had designed this Devilish trick, | |
| To make the Bridegroom and the Bride; | |
| With themselves dissatisfied; | |
| She grown coy, | 65 |
| Called him Boy, | |
| He getting from her cried Zoons you’re a rouzer. | |
| Foh, she cried, | |
| By things spied, | |
| She had as live a mere Baby should espouse her. | 70 |