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(From Pills to Purge Melancholy, c. 1707)
WHY should we boast of Lais and her Knights, | |
| Knowing such Champions intrapt with Whorish Lights; | |
| Or why should we speak of Thais’ Curled Locks, | |
| Or Rhodope that gave so many Men the Pox. | |
| Read old Stories, and there you shall find, | 5 |
| How Jane Shore, Jane Shore she pleased King Edward’s mind. | |
| Jane Shore she was for fair England, Queen Fredrick was for France, | |
| Honi soit qui mal y pense. | |
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| To speak of the Amazons it were too long to tell, | |
| And likewise of the Thracian Girls, how far they did excel; | 10 |
| Those with Scythian Lads, engag’d in several Fights, | |
| And in the brave Venetian Wars, did foil advent’rous Knights: | |
| Messaline and Julia were Vessels wond’rous brittle, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore took down K. Edward’s Mettle.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| Thalestis of Thormydon, she was a doughty Wight; | 15 |
| She Conquered Pallas King in the Exercise of Night; | |
| Hercules slew the Dragon whose Teeth were all of Brass, | |
| Yet he himself became a Slave unto the Lydian Lass: | |
| The Theban Semel lay with Jove, not dreading all his Thunder, | |
But Jane Shore overcame King Edward, altho’ he had her under.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | 20 |
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| Helen of Greece she came of Spartan Blood, | |
| Agricola and Cressida they were brave Whores and good; | |
| Queen Clytemnestra bold, slew old Arthur’s mighty Son, | |
| And fair Harcyon pulled down the Strength of Telamon: | |
| Those were the Ladies that caused the Trojan Sack, | 25 |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore she spoiled K. Edward’s Back.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| For this the Ancient Fathers did great Venus defy, | |
| Because with her own Father Jove she feared not to lie; | |
| Hence Cupid came, who afterwards revenged his loving Mother, | |
| And made kind Biblis do the like with Cornus her own Brother; | 30 |
| And afterwards the Goddess kept Adonis for Reserve, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore she stretched King Edward’s Nerve.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| The Colchin Dame Mædea her Father did betray, | |
| And taught her Lover Jason how the Vigilant Bull to slay; | |
| And after, thence conveyed her Father’s golden Fleece, | 35 |
| She with her Lover sailed away in Argus Ship to Greece: | |
| But finding Jason False, she burnt his Wife and Court, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore she showed King Edward sport.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| Romix of Saxony the Welsh State overthrew, | |
| Igræyn of Cornwall, Pendragon did subdue; | 40 |
| Queen Guinevere with Arthur fought singly hand to hand, | |
| In Bed, tho’ afterwards she made Horns on his Head to stand: | |
| And to Sir Mordred, Pictish Prince a Paramour became, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore she made King Edward tame.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| Marosia of Italy, see how she stoutly copes, | 45 |
| With Jesuits, Priests and Cardinals, and triple Crowned Popes; | |
| And with King Henry, Rosamond spent many a dallying Hour, | |
| Till lastly she was Poisoned in Woodstock fatal Bower: | |
| And Joan of Arc play’d in the Dark with the Knights of Languedoc, | |
But Jane Shore, met King Edward, and gave him Knock for Knock.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | 50 |
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| Pasiphæ we know played feats with the Cretan Bull, | |
| And Proserpine, tho’ so Divine, became black Pluto’s Trull: | |
| The Spanish Bawd her Strumpets taught to lay their Legs astride, | |
| But these and all the Curtezans Jane Shore did them deride: | |
| Pope Joan was right, altho’ she did the Papal Sceptre Wield, | 55 |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore she made King Edward yield.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| Agathoclea and Ænathe did govern Egypt’s King; | |
| The witty Wench of Andover, she was a pretty thing, | |
| She freely took her Lady’s place, and with great Edgar Dallied, | |
| And with main force she foiled him quite, altho’ he often rallied: | 60 |
| For which brave Act, he that her racked, gave her his Lady’s Land, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore King Edward did command.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| Of Phryne and Lanva Historians have related, | |
| How their Illustrious Beauties, two Generals Captivated: | |
| And they that in the Days of Yore killed Men and Sacked their Cities, | 65 |
| In Honour of their Mistresses composed Amorous Ditties: | |
| Let Flora gay with Romans play, and be a Goddess called, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore, King Edward she enthralled.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| The Jolly Tanner’s Daughter Harlot of Normandy, | |
| She only had the happiness to please Duke Robert’s Eye; | 70 |
| And Roxolana tho’ a Slave, and born a Grecian, | |
| Could with a Nod, command and rule Grand Seignior Solyman: | |
| And Naples Joan would make them Groan that ardently did love her, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore King Edward he did Shove her.
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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| Aspasia doth of the Persian Brothers boast, | 75 |
| Though Cynthia joy in the Lampathean Boy, Jane Shore shall rule the roast; | |
| Cleopatra loved Mark Antony, and Brownal she did feats, | |
| But compared to our Virago, they were but merely cheats, | |
| Brave Carpet Knights in Cupid’s Fights, their milkwhite Rapiers drew, | |
But Jane Shore, Jane Shore King Edward did subdue,
Jane Shore she was, etc. | 80 |
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| Hamlet’s incestuous Mother was Gertrude, Denmark’s Queen, | |
| And Circe that enchanting Witch, the like was scarcely seen; | |
| Warlike Penthesile was an Amazonian Whore, | |
| To Hector and young Troylus, both which did her adore, | |
| But brave King Edward, who before had gain’d Nine Victories, | 85 |
Was like a Bond-slave, fetter’d with Jane Shore’s all conquering Thighs:
Jane Shore she was, etc. | |
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