COME, John, sit thee down, I have somewhat to say, | |
| In my mind I have kept it this many a day, | |
| Your master you know is a Fool, and a Sot, | |
| And minds nothing else but the Pipe and the Pot. | |
| Till twelve or till one he will never come home, | 5 |
| And then he’s so drunk that he lies like a Mome: | |
| Such usage as this would make any one mad, | |
| But a Woman will have it if ’tis to be had. | |
| |
| ’Tis true forsooth, mistris, the case is but hard, | |
| That a woman should be of her pleasure debarred: | 10 |
| But ’tis the sad fate of a thousand beside, | |
| Or else the whole City is fouly belied: | |
| There is not a man amoung twenty that thrives, | |
| Not ten in fifteen that do lie with their Wives: | |
| Yet still you had better be merry than sad, | 15 |
| And take it wherever it is to be had. | |
| |
| But John, ’tis a difficult matter to find, | |
| A man that is trusty and constantly kind: | |
| An Inns-of-Court Gallant he cringes and bows, | |
| He’s presently known by his Oaths and his Vows, | 20 |
| And though both his clothes and his speeches be gay, | |
| Yet he loves you but only a night and away: | |
| Such usage as this would make any one mad, | |
| Yet a woman will have it, if ’tis to be had. | |
| |
| What think you of one that belongs to the Court, | 25 |
| They say they are youthful, and given to sport: | |
| He’ll present you with bracelets, and jewels, and Rings, | |
| With stones that are precious and twenty fine things; | |
| Or if you are not for the Court nor the Town, | |
| What think you forsooth of a man with a Gown? | 30 |
| You must have I gallant, a good or a bad, | |
| And take it where ever it is to be had. | |
| |
THE SECOND PART No, John, I confess that not any of these, | |
| Had ever the power my fancy to please; | |
| I like no such blades for a trick that I know, | 35 |
| For as soon as they’ve trod they are given to crow; | |
| Plain dealing is best, and I like a man well, | |
| That when he has kissed will be hanged ere he’ll tell: | |
| My meaning is honest, and thou art the Lad, | |
| Then give it and take it where ’tis to be had. | 40 |
| |
| Alas! my dear mistris, it never can be, | |
| That you can affect such a fellow as me: | |
| Yet heaven forbid, since I am but your man, | |
| I should ever refuse to do all I can; | |
| But then if my master should know what we’ve done, | 45 |
| We both should be blown up as sure as a Gun: | |
| For after our joys, he would make us sad, | |
| For taking it where it ought not to be had. | |
| |
| But how should he know it, thou scrupulous Elf, | |
| Do’st think I’m so silly to tell him my self? | 50 |
| If we are but so wise our own counsel to keep, | |
| We may laugh and lye down while the sot is asleep: | |
| Some hundreds I know in the city that use | |
| To give to their men what their masters refuse: | |
| The man is the master, the Prentice the Dad, | 55 |
| For women must take it where ’tis to be had. | |
| |
| Some Prentices use it, forsooth, I allow, | |
| But I am a Novice and cannot tell how: | |
| However, I hope that I shall not be blamed, | |
| For to tell you the truth I am somewhat asham’d; | 60 |
| I know how to carry your Bible to Church, | |
| But to play with my mistris I’m left in the lurch: | |
| Yet if you can show me the way good or bad, | |
| I’ll promise you all that there is to be had. | |
| |
| You quickly may learn it, my Johnny, for … Thus, | 65 |
| Before you proceed we begin with a buss; | |
| And then you must clasp me about with your arm; | |
| Nay, fear me not Johnny, I’ll do thee no harm; | |
| Now I sigh, now I tremble, now backwards I lie, | |
| And now dear Johnny, ah now I must die: | 70 |
| Oh! who can resist such a mettlesome Lad, | |
| And refuse such a pleasure when ’tis to be had. | |
| |
| Alas, pretty mistris, the pleasure is such, | |
| We never can give one another too much: | |
| If this be the business the way is so plain, | 75 |
| I think I can easily find it again: | |
| ’Twas thus we began; and … Thus we lye down, | |
| And thus…. Oh thus! that we fell in a swoon: | |
| Such sport to refuse who was ever so mad, | |
| I’ll take it where ever it is to be had. | 80 |
| |
| Now, Johnny, you talk like an ignorant mome, | |
| You can have such pleasures no where but at home, | |
| Here’s fifty broad pieces for what you have done, | |
| But see that you never a gadding do run: | |
| For no new employment then trouble your brains, | 85 |
| For here when you work you’ll be paid for your pains: | |
| But should you deceive me no woman so sad, | |
| To lose all the pleasure that once she has had. | |
| |
| A mistris so noble I never will leave, | |
| ’Twere a sin and a shame such a friend to deceive; | 90 |
| For my Master’s shop no more will I care, | |
| ’Tis pleasanter handling my mistris’s ware: | |
| A fig for Indentures, for now I am made | |
| Free of a Gentler and pleasanter trade: | |
| I know when I’m well, I was never so mad, | 95 |
| To forsake a good thing when ’tis to be had. | |
| |
