| T. R. Smith, comp. Poetica Erotica: Rare and Curious Amatory Verse. 1921–22. | | | | “If You Will Love Me” | | By Thomas D’Urfey (1653–1723) |
| | (From Don Quixote, 1707)
I IF you will love me, be free in expressing it; | |
| And henceforth give me no cause to complain; | |
| Or if you hate me, be plain in confessing it, | |
| And in few Words put me out of my Pain. | |
| This long delaying, with sighing and praying, | 5 |
| Breeds only decaying in Life and Amour, | |
| Cooing and wooing, | |
| And daily pursuing, | |
| Is damned silly doing, therefore I’ll give o’er. | |
| |
| If you’ll propose a kind Method of ruling me, | 10 |
| I may return to my Duty again; | |
| But if you stick to your old way of fooling me, | |
| I must be plain, I’m none of your Men; | |
| Passion for Passion on each kind Occasion, | |
| With free Inclination does kindle Love’s Fire, | 15 |
| But tedious prating, | |
| Coy folly debating, | |
| And new Doubts creating still make it expire. | |
| |
II
THE LADY’S ANSWER
YOU love, and yet when I ask you to marry me, | |
| Still have recourse to the Tricks of your Art, | 20 |
| Then like a Fencer you cunningly parry me, | |
| Yet the same time make a Pass at my Heart. | |
| Fye, fye, deceiver, | |
| No longer endeavour, | |
| Or think this way ever the Fort will be won; | 25 |
| No fond caressing | |
| Must be, nor unlacing, | |
| Or tender embracing, ’till the Parson has done. | |
| |
| Some say that Marriage a Dog with a Bottle is, | |
| Pleasing their Humours to rail at their Wives; | 30 |
| Others declare it an Ape with a Rattle is, | |
| Comfort’s Destroyer, and Plague of their Lives: | |
| Some are affirming, | |
| A Trap ’tis for Vermin, | |
| And yet with the Bait tho’ not Prison agree, | 35 |
| Ventring that choose you | |
| Must let me espouse you, | |
| If e’er my dear Mouse you will nibble at me. | | | | |
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