| |
| IF I could know | |
| That here about the place where last you played,— | |
| Within this room, and yonder in the shade | |
| Of branches low,— | |
| Your spirit lingered, I would never go, | 5 |
| But evermore a hermit pace the round | |
| Of sunny paths across this garden ground, | |
| And o’er the fleckered lawn | |
| Whereon your baby chariot was drawn, | |
| And round these lonely walls, | 10 |
| Where no sound ever falls | |
| So pretty as your prattle or your crow,— | |
| If I could only know! | |
| |
| If I could know | |
| That to some distant clime or planet rare | 15 |
| Sweet souls like thine repair, | |
| Where love’s own fountains fail not as they flow,— | |
| I ’d be a traveller, and would ever go, | |
| Day after day, along the selfsame road, | |
| Leaving behind this desolate abode, | 20 |
| My head upon my pillow only lay | |
| To dream myself still farther on the way, | |
| Until at last I rest, | |
| Clasping my little daughter to my breast, | |
| Though half eternity were wasted so,— | 25 |
| If I could only know! | |
| |
| If I could know | |
| That you a child with childlike ways remain, | |
| I ’d never wish to be a man again, | |
| But only try to grow | 30 |
| As childlike, using all the idle toys | |
| That you and I have played with, till their noise | |
| Brought back the echoes of your merry laugh, | |
| When paper windmill whirled upon its staff, | |
| Or painted ball went rolling on the floor, | 35 |
| Or puss peeped out behind the door, | |
| Or watch, held half in fear, | |
| With its mysterious pulses thrilled your ear: | |
| All manly occupation I ’d forego, | |
| If I could only know! | 40 |
| |
| If I could know | |
| That henceforth, in some pure eternal sphere, | |
| The little life that grew so swiftly here | |
| Would still expand and grow, | |
| How should I strive against my wasting years, | 45 |
| With toil from sun to sun, and midnight tears, | |
| To build my soul up to the height of yours, | |
| And catch the light that lures, | |
| The inspiration that impels, | |
| The strength that dwells, | 50 |
| Beyond the bounds of earthly cares and fears, | |
| Beyond this bitter woe,— | |
| If I could only know! | |
| |
| Alas! what do I know? | |
| I know your world scarce compassed yonder stone— | 55 |
| As little seems my own! | |
| I know you never knew unhappiness— | |
| Would I could mourn the less! | |
| I know you never saw death’s darker side— | |
| The shore where we abide! | 60 |
| I know you never felt the nameless dread— | |
| Ah, but if mine were fled! | |
| I know you never heard a lover’s vow— | |
| And I ’m your lover now! | |
| I know no answer to my wail can come— | 65 |
| Let me be dumb! | |
| |
