| |
| I RESIDE at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James; | |
| I am not up to small deceit, or any sinful games; | |
| And I ’ll tell in simple language what I know about the row | |
| That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow. | |
| |
| But first I would remark, that it is not a proper plan | 5 |
| For any scientific gent to whale his fellowman, | |
| And, if a member don’t agree with his peculiar whim, | |
| To lay for that same member for to “put a head” on him. | |
| |
| Now nothing could be finer or more beautiful to see | |
| Than the first six months’ proceedings of that same Society, | 10 |
| Till Brown of Calaveras brought a lot of fossil bones | |
| That he found within a tunnel near the tenement of Jones. | |
| |
| Then Brown he read a paper, and he reconstructed there, | |
| From those same bones, an animal that was extremely rare; | |
| And Jones then asked the Chair for a suspension of the rules, | 15 |
| Till he could prove that those same bones was one of his lost mules. | |
| |
| Then Brown he smiled a bitter smile, and said he was at fault,— | |
| It seemed he had been trespassing on Jones’s family vault: | |
| He was a most sarcastic man, this quiet Mr. Brown, | |
| And on several occasions he had cleaned out the town. | 20 |
| |
| Now I hold it is not decent for a scientific gent | |
| To say another is an ass,—at least, to all intent; | |
| Nor should the individual who happens to be meant | |
| Reply by heaving rocks at him, to any great extent. | |
| |
| Then Abner Dean of Angel’s raised a point of order—when | 25 |
| A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the abdomen, | |
| And he smiled a kind of sickly smile, and curled up on the floor, | |
| And the subsequent proceedings interested him no more. | |
| |
| For, in less time than I write it, every member did engage | |
| In a warfare with the remnants of a palæozoic age; | 30 |
| And the way they heaved those fossils in their anger was a sin, | |
| Till the skull of an old mammoth caved the head of Thompson in. | |
| |
| And this is all I have to say of these improper games, | |
| For I live at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James; | |
| And I ’ve told in simple language what I know about the row | 35 |
| That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow. | |
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