| THOUGH for your sake I would not have you now | |
| So near to me tonight as now you are, | |
| God knows how much a stranger to my heart | |
| Was any cold word that I may have written; | |
| And you, poor woman that I made my wife, | 5 |
| You have had more of loneliness, I fear, | |
| Than Ithough I have been the most alone, | |
| Even when the most attended. So it was | |
| God set the mark of his inscrutable | |
| Necessity on one that was to grope, | 10 |
| And serve, and suffer, and withal be glad | |
| For what was his, and is, and is to be, | |
| When his old bones, that are a burden now, | |
| Are saying what the man who carried them | |
| Had not the power to say. Bones in a grave, | 15 |
| Cover them as they will with choking earth, | |
| May shout the truth to men who put them there, | |
| More than all orators. And so, my dear, | |
| Since you have cheated wisdom for the sake | |
| Of sorrow, let your sorrow be for you, | 20 |
| This last of nights before the last of days, | |
| The lying ghost of what there is of me | |
| That is the most alive. There is no death | |
| For me in what they do. Their death it is | |
| They should heed most when the sun comes again | 25 |
| To make them solemn. There are some I know | |
| Whose eyes will hardly see their occupation, | |
| For tears in themand all for one old man; | |
| For some of them will pity this old man, | |
| Who took upon himself the work of God | 30 |
| Because he pitied millions. That will be | |
| For them, I fancy, their compassionate | |
| Best way of saying what is best in them | |
| To say; for they can say no more than that, | |
| And they can do no more than what the dawn | 35 |
| Of one more day shall give them light enough | |
| To do. But there are many days to be, | |
| And there are many men to give their blood, | |
| As I gave mine for them. May they come soon! | |
| |
| May they come soon, I say. And when they come, | 40 |
| May all that I have said unheard be heard, | |
| Proving at last, or maybe notno matter | |
| What sort of madness was the part of me | |
| That made me strike, whether I found the mark | |
| Or missed it. Meanwhile, Ive a strange content, | 45 |
| A patience, and a vast indifference | |
| To what men say of me and what men fear | |
| To say. There was a work to be begun, | |
| And when the Voice, that I have heard so long, | |
| Announced as in a thousand silences | 50 |
| An end of preparation, I began | |
| The coming work of death which is to be, | |
| That life may be. There is no other way | |
| Than the old way of war for a new land | |
| That will not know itself and is tonight | 55 |
| A stranger to itself, and to the world | |
| A more prodigious upstart among states | |
| Than I was among men, and so shall be | |
| Till they are told and told, and told again; | |
| For men are children, waiting to be told, | 60 |
| And most of them are children all their lives. | |
| The good God in his wisdom had them so, | |
| That now and then a madman or a seer | |
| May shake them out of their complacency | |
| And shame them into deeds. The major file | 65 |
| See only what their fathers may have seen, | |
| Or may have said they saw when they saw nothing. | |
| I do not say it matters what they saw. | |
| Now and again to some lone soul or other | |
| God speaks, and there is hanging to be done, | 70 |
| As once there was a burning of our bodies | |
| Alive, albeit our souls were sorry fuel. | |
| But now the fires are few, and we are poised | |
| Accordingly, for the states benefit, | |
| A few still minutes between heaven and earth. | 75 |
| The purpose is, when they have seen enough | |
| Of what it is that they are not to see, | |
| To pluck me as an unripe fruit of treason, | |
| And then to fling me back to the same earth | |
| Of which they are, as I suppose, the flower | 80 |
| Not given to know the riper fruit that waits | |
| For a more comprehensive harvesting. | |
| |
| Yes, may they come, and soon. Again I say, | |
| May they come soon!before too many of them | |
| Shall be the bloody cost of our defection. | 85 |
| When hell waits on the dawn of a new state, | |
| Better it were that hell should not wait long, | |
| Or so it is I see it who should see | |
| As far or farther into time tonight | |
| Than they who talk and tremble for me now, | 90 |
| Or wish me to those everlasting fires | |
| That are for me no fear. Too many fires | |
| Have sought me out and seared me to the bone | |
| Thereby, for all I know, to temper me | |
| For what was mine to do. If I did ill | 95 |
| What I did well, let men say I was mad; | |
| Or let my name for ever be a question | |
| That will not sleep in history. What men say | |
| I was will cool no cannon, dull no sword, | |
| Invalidate no truth. Meanwhile, I was; | 100 |
| And the long train is lighted that shall burn, | |
| Though floods of wrath may drench it, and hot feet | |
| May stamp it for a slight time into smoke | |
| That shall blaze up again with growing speed, | |
| Until at last a fiery crash will come | 105 |
| To cleanse and shake a wounded hemisphere, | |
| And heal it of a long malignity | |
| That angry time discredits and disowns. | |
| |
| Tonight there are men saying many things; | |
| And some who see life in the last of me | 110 |
| Will answer first the coming call to death; | |
| For death is what is coming, and then life. | |
| I do not say again for the dull sake | |
| Of speech what you have heard me say before, | |
| But rather for the sake of all I am, | 115 |
| And all God made of me. A man to die | |
| As I do must have done some other work | |
| Than mans alone. I was not after glory, | |
| But there was glory with me, like a friend, | |
| Throughout those crippling years when friends were few, | 120 |
| And fearful to be known by their own names | |
| When mine was vilified for their approval. | |
| Yet friends they are, and they did what was given | |
| Their will to do; they could have done no more. | |
| I was the one man mad enough, it seems, | 125 |
| To do my work; and now my work is over. | |
| And you, my dear, are not to mourn for me, | |
| Or for your sons, more than a soul should mourn | |
| In Paradise, done with evil and with earth. | |
| There is not much of earth in what remains | 130 |
| For you; and what there may be left of it | |
| For your endurance you shall have at last | |
| In peace, without the twinge of any fear | |
| For my condition; for I shall be done | |
| With plans and actions that have heretofore | 135 |
| Made your days long and your nights ominous | |
| With darkness and the many distances | |
| That were between us. When the silence comes, | |
| I shall in faith be nearer to you then | |
| Than I am now in fact. What you see now | 140 |
| Is only the outside of an old man, | |
| Older than years have made him. Let him die, | |
| And let him be a thing for little grief. | |
| There was a time for service and he served; | |
| And there is no more time for anything | 145 |
| But a short gratefulness to those who gave | |
| Their scared allegiance to an enterprise | |
| That has the name of treasonwhich will serve | |
| As well as any other for the present. | |
| There are some deeds of men that have no names, | 150 |
| And mine may like as not be one of them. | |
| I am not looking far for names tonight. | |
| The King of Glory was without a name | |
| Until men gave Him one; yet there He was, | |
| Before we found Him and affronted Him | 155 |
| With numerous ingenuities of evil, | |
| Of which one, with His aid, is to be swept | |
| And washed out of the world with fire and blood. | |
| |
| Once I believed it might have come to pass | |
| With a small cost of blood; but I was dreaming | 160 |
| Dreaming that I believed. The Voice I heard | |
| When I left you behind me in the north, | |
| To wait there and to wonder and grow old | |
| Of loneliness,told only what was best, | |
| And with a saving vagueness, I should know | 165 |
| Till I knew more. And had I known even then | |
| After grim years of search and suffering, | |
| So many of them to end as they began | |
| After my sickening doubts and estimations | |
| Of plans abandoned and of new plans vain | 170 |
| After a weary delving everywhere | |
| For men with every virtue but the Vision | |
| Could I have known, I say, before I left you | |
| That summer morning, all there was to know | |
| Even unto the last consuming word | 175 |
| That would have blasted every mortal answer | |
| As lightning would annihilate a leaf, | |
| I might have trembled on that summer morning; | |
| I might have wavered; and I might have failed. | |
| |
| And there are many among men today | 180 |
| To say of me that I had best have wavered. | |
| So has it been, so shall it always be, | |
| For those of us who give ourselves to die | |
| Before we are so parcelled and approved | |
| As to be slaughtered by authority. | 185 |
| We do not make so much of what they say | |
| As they of what our folly says of us; | |
| They give us hardly time enough for that, | |
| And thereby we gain much by losing little. | |
| Few are alive to-day with less to lose. | 190 |
| Than I who tell you this, or more to gain; | |
| And whether I speak as one to be destroyed | |
| For no good end outside his own destruction, | |
| Time shall have more to say than men shall hear | |
| Between now and the coming of that harvest | 195 |
| Which is to come. Before it comes, I go | |
| By the short road that mystery makes long | |
| For mans endurance of accomplishment. | |
| I shall have more to say when I am dead. | |